i'm tired. deeply, deeply tired. i think that falling for so long takes it out of you more than you realize. it seems like you hit a terminal velocity at some point but that doesn't make falling any easier. and i don't have the energy to open my wings and claw my way out of it. there's a melodrama i live with, as well as my eels, but there's some truth to this whole endeavor too. i've realized my biggest weakness though at least, i guess. maybe i shouldn't just throw it out there, but i'd like to think i don't have very many enemies who'd use it against me.