social media is so strange to me. where do i even begin.

i think at a base level when i hear people talking about art in regards to social media i very much consider myself outside of the group of "social media artists" or "artists on social media" because the way i interact with things online is just .. can it even count as that LOL. like yes i am on tumblr yes i do care about likes/rbs (more abt when i Dont get any) but that doesn't dictate what i draw whatsoever you know... like sure yeah if i end up drawing jerma because i wanted to draw jerma i'll def post that bc i know people will see it but its not like im drawing jerma FOR THEM .

i have an inherent need in my brain for people to see my work .. whichi think is the case with any / many artists, at least for the things we're proud of. and when people are like "oh hey just DONT USE social media its so fun and easy wheeeee !" i'm like ... ok but then no one will ever see my pieces and self and i will be alone forever within my brain. how do i rememedy that .

actually i think i just need to join a zine and submit to galleries.. that will def fix me. my college has student shows and i really want to submit to those eheh but its like . in reality. while yes i can go and look for places to put my stuff in the physical real world, as a digital artist it will always be easier to post to social medias and stuff than literally doing anything else to get eyes on your craft. and the idea that being off social media makes you better or something or is fundamentally the right choice is just .. strange to me. do you guys not care about people seeing your stuff?

maybe it's just because i haven't done fan work in a looooong time. my work is all pieces its all symbolism and catstrups and meaning its not just some guy i drew cause i like him. and maybe in that sense people just want clout or something and they want numbers but even then its like maybe you're doing that for exposure so you can get comms . i can't get comms even though i really want to ... le sigh. maybe i just need to find a place where people like my things.. if you're reading this maybe you like my things ^_^ or not. if you wanna pay me money that would be so cute i can give u luck or soemthing even LOL.

continued: 11.12.2022

alright im back sorry i was dancing n playing cymbals for lion dance teehee. ALL THIS TO SAY. basically erm i think neocities is super healthy for me bc it's a space where it can just be about ME and there's no RULES for posting other than MINE and being able to create systems that i like that prioritize the important things to me is basicaly the only way i can do things ever .

also thinking about changing my online handle ...... i love oreow(h)iskers so much but. i think it might be time to move on. i need something that's more .. mature or at least more like me. i like puppetdreamcave as my brand still like sort of how alphabet owns google technically but ithink for my artist name i need to switch it up. le sigh. i just don't know exactly what to do!