it feels like an apt time to write a new entry in my angel chronicles.

i don't have much to talk about these days. i suppose it's sort of an interesting intersection of many things (as life tends to be, most of the time).

1) the hunger is mildly at bay. i found myself firmly nesting in a home and trusting it, a boything indulges me, and although i miss my goddess, we actually call. somehow, life is kind in that way.

2) i have to fight to not drown. my words are stripped from my siding with rough turpentine, eroding my lust and love for the physicality of the world. it'll never die, but it's hard enough just to fight against the bitter doldrums these humans live in. i don't understand how anyone can live like they do (god, it's so much more fun my way).

3) i can rest. new year brought a refreshing, cleansing sense of peace to me (and played a role in easing the hunger), and the roughness of handling so much at once is gone now, replaced by a gentle, simple relaxation. it's odd, but needed.

i've been scrunched like a spring for the past seven weeks and now i finally get to sit with myself again (although i am fighting a rough bout of sickness, i can't bring myself to get mad at even that). i think i'll take some time in the near future to start chronicalling my lion dance research and thoughts, but for now, the angel is quiet.

i always have thoughts spiralling in my brain, but unfortunately, with respect to my studies, it's come to my attention that the professors teaching me are worse at teaching than i am, so i can't quite bring myself to get angry on here about it even. it's just something so fundamentally incorrect that there's no real meat to chew on, let alone texture or complex flavor profiles to comment on.

everything is so terribly shallow and dreary; the two most applicable words i've found are "sterile" and "neutered," both of which i think are funny to me, but probably very rude if i were to tell them to people, hah. the antithesis of academia also comes to mind. if you've read my other entries, you can probably grok how much distaste i have for this place, just with how eager and insatiable i am for knowledge and mathematical frameworks. but i digress. i build my own beams, i court my own lovers.

maybe once dynamics sees me as a worthy partner and fucks me in a back alley somewhere i'll do a thinkpiece on how large her strap is, but until then, stay well friends