it's been a while since i wrote a mini essay on here, but i've been thinking about this a lot, and i wanted to throw out a thesis on it. honestly, please let me know if this is super off base, i just was thinking about stuff and i'm still new to literature on the specifics of trans misogyny ^_^;; i'm not trying to blame anyone, i hope it comes off in the essay that i understand why people act the ways they do, i just want to futher a path for all of us to support each other ^_^ 💖

for context, i'm a trans man, and i'm also on tumblr as my main social, and lately there was a sweeping wave of trans misogyny enabled by tumblr staff to run multiple transfems off the platform. people rightfully began talking about it and how to support trans women/ transfems, but some posts were more specifically directed at transmascs, saying "if we want to live in harmony, transmascs need to stop misunderstanding transmisogyny". and this struck me as sort of odd; not that i think this isn't true, every trans person should understand trans misogyny, yeah, but framing the concept of trans unity in this light seems unproductive to me. this is also coupled with a larger rolling ebb and flow of the prominence of the term "transandrophobia," which gets shot down by transfems every so often. i want to explore why i think the polarization of the tumblr trans community is happening, and offer possible paths we can take to stop falling into the traps our cis oppressors set for us.

at the heart of this discussion is, of course, trans misogyny. one of the most important keys to understanding the situation at hand is to make clear the difference between transphobia, misogyny, and trans misogyny. transphobia is something that is shared between all members of the trans community (unfortunately): the discrimination of a person based on their transness. this can look like mocking someone for not passing, calling them transphobic slurs, disallowing them to explore presentation outside their gender identity/ be GNC, attack helicopter jokes, etc. misogyny is, hopefully, another familiar term: discrimination against women. it can take many, many forms, not limited to: belittling women for their womanhood, stereotyping women as lesser/ worse, paying women less than others, the list goes on. and yet, the third term, trans misogyny, is unique and young.

trans misogyny is the intersection of misogyny and transphobia, hate directed specifically against trans women. a starting point for modern US trans misogyny can be seen in the "man in a dress" stereotype, a publicly demonized charicature of trans women. it's important to note that this is absent in the transmasc experience; the unpassing masc is a tomboy or butch, not a predator or some form of trick for straight men. this presents a fascinating dichotomy, where trans women are highly publicized and ridiculed because of it, whereas trans men (and nonbinary people as well) are shuffled under the rug. Neither of these are great, but i would say that we must acknowledge that clearly it's worse for transfems to deal with their hand. this kind of prejudice comes from a unique place, and therefore justifies a word to characterize it: trans misogyny.

so trans misogyny is clearly a pressing, visible issue. but how does this change the viewpoint on the tumblr space? if we assume that most transmascs were like myself, and knew about transmisogyny adjacently, but hadn't put a certain level of thought into it, wouldn't their understanding bridge the gap and we could achieve "harmony"? well... yes and no. i strongly believe that in order to form healthy connections with any group of people, we must look inward into our own actions, even as marginalized people, and see how we can all be better.

transmascs on tumblr are frustrated (at least a portion of them) from dealing with constant erasure [1]. a common tendency for transmasc discussions of oppression is to mirror transfem discussions (which, for various reasons, are pretty public on tumblr trans circles), by coining a term for oppression directed against non-transfem people, transandrophobia. and transfems come along and say, "hey, you can't say that, men can't be oppressed for being men." which is... certainly a thing you can say! but as we've seen in the discussion above, the reason trans misogyny exists is because it's accutely public. transandrophobia itself doesn't exist because cis people don't give two shits about transmascs, and therefore don't publicly demonize us (again, not saying the publicity is good. i would much rather our trans sisters and transfem siblings be able to hide in the dark with us, where it's much safer). it's not because men can't be oppressed--Black men are certainly oppressed and this intersects with their masculinity--but because the term would be redundant, just describing transphobia against transmascs and nonbinary people.

the true heart of the divide is what does exist for transmascs: transphobia. transfem people tend to talk a lot about trans misogyny in their discussions of anti-trans rhetoric, and rightly so. the public view of them affects them so much more than the garden variety transphobia they may experience that it overshadows talks about transphobia, and due to trans misogyny, transfems might not even be seen as women, which means misogyny is also overshadowed. so the overwhelming discussion of anti-trans rhetoric is centered around trans misogyny, and then when transmascs attempt to mirror this discussion, they're told (usually not in a very logically structured way) that they shouldn't be discussing it like they are.

what we really need is conversations about transphobia and how it affects every kind of trans person. clearly, there needs to be more understanding of trans misogyny and how to support transfems through it. it's a pervasive, constant, incredibly damaging thing to live with, and non transfems don't have to deal with such a horrible public perception that follows them everywhere. but we also need to talk about the infantalization of transmascs, how we're forced to present more and more masculine and still aren't seen as men, healthcare for transmascs (like pap smears and pregnant care). i'm not nonbinary so i'm not accutely aware of their struggles (an ironic microcosm of the issue i'm discussing), but the same goes for them as well. we should support and reaffirm all trans people, understanding their experiences and making them feel seen, or providing a quiet place of reprieve from the constant vigiliance we live with under cis systems.

so often is it easy to choose cruelty or anger, especially when you're hurting yourself, and no one is acknowledging you. it's ok if you've done that. but moving forward i think we should try to uplift instead of cutting down. but tumblr is a social media, and people are quite kneejerk on there, so i doubt anything like this would happen for a long time.

thanks for makin' it through! um. this might be a super 2d take, but i think it's a little interesting to think about at least ^_^b have a great day, i love you